Things I Don't Like

1. Bees
2. Sharks
3. A 4 Ton Satellite Hurtling Towards Earth
4. Pockets
5. WHO THE HELL CARES, A 4 TON SATELLITE IS HURTLING TOWARDS EARTH

Actually, it weighs 10 tons. It's the size of a city bus. The reason I say 4 tons is because roughly half of it will burn up in the atmosphere. For reference the largest land animal in the world, the female African Elephant, weighs 7.7 tons. This thing weighs more than the biggest elephant you've ever seen.

Bad news: Satellite the size of a city bus will crash into earth on or about March 6.
Good news: Half of it will burn up in the atmosphere.
Bad news: That still leaves up to 5 tons of twisted metal set to hit...absolutely anywhere.
Worse news: It contains some biohazardous rocket fuel. Like a lot of it.

Now you can listen to the government which says "This is nothing. Shit falls from space all the time. Why just a couple decades ago skylab fell out of the sky and nothing really happened. In fact, there is a 1 percent chance it will hit a populated area."

That's all well and good except for one problem. The U.S. Government is about to spend $60 million trying to blow this thing up before it blows earth up. So you tell me if they think this is serious.

We're all Witmered.

Also, one quick note: The final meeting of the Finer Things Club will take place sometime before March 6 due to the pending destruction of our planet Earth and subsequent rapture.