Wednesday, January 30, 2008

McCormick's Back

Mark,

Greetings from your old friend McCormick, back from the sea. It was a trecherous 18 months, but I have again returned with a fresh haul of Cougars, Pumas, MILFs, and Manthers, which I will litter throughout my fine restaurants during happy hour.

The reason I write, Mark, is to inform you of a steal. I now offer $20 off dinner with online reservations. Unlike certain OTHER Herndon area eateries, there is no fine print. This is not one of those "$20 off $70 if you spend $120 and tip 72%" deals. Plus, at McCormicks there are always plenty of eager old women to shake your [stick] at.

Regards,

McCormick
Now a Woman

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Send Your Prayers To Baltimore

I make fun of Baltimore a lot. Its purple camoflauge, funny accents, and STD epidemic are just too easy to poke fun at. But today I am doing nothing but giving Baltimore my heartfelt best wishes, because when I went to weather.com and looked at the radar, I discovered they are facing mankind's most destructive force:



When I saw that, I nearly "witmered" myself in fear. And I know just to the west of Baltimore there is a more menacing, complete pocket, but I'll ignore that as that town has certainly already been destroyed.

Monday, January 7, 2008

More to Come...

Just in case you don't have a bottle opener handy, here's a cool little trick.





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