The following is by a certain Ben W., who would like to expose us all to one of his new favorite artists:
Ask yourself this question: What’s cooler, a vegetarian shark or a six-legged octopus? The correct answer is neither. But I’ll tell you what is cooler than both of those combined: Unknown Hinson.
Imagine taking the DNA of Johnny Cash, Wolverine, and Dracula, mixing it with a centrifuge, splicing it with the ovary fruit of a Shewolf, and baking it on 350 for ten minutes. What you would have on your hands is one of the best “psychobilly” musicians around.
Taking his name from his birth certificate which read: “Mama: Miss Hinson, Father: Unknown, Unknown Hinson was born and raised in Charlotte, North Carolina. After his mother vanished (circumstances still uncertain), Unknown fled to the countryside where he joined a traveling circus. Life for Unknown during this time period consisted of many new learning experiences, such as mastering the art of lifting a 50-pound weight with one’s tongue. Ipso-facto, he then spent 30 years in prison.
Hinson finally managed to rise above the erroneous claims his stone-cold accusers flung his way time and time again. Unknown Hinson had “allegedly” (that means he might not of done it) committed several murders, had 19 paternity suits, and committed random acts of vampirism and other grave-robbing offenses.
However, today the hillbilly vampire is praised by the likes of Reverend Horton Heat, Hank Williams III, and Tom Petty. Hinson’s music is riddled with themes such as love-gone-wrong, “womern” troubles, outlawing, and party liquors.
Check out the video for his song Venus Bound:
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